knowledge base

Stop Saying I Know Exactly What You Feel

Socioliogist Charles Derber describes this tendency as “conversational narcissism.” Often subtle and unconscious, it’s the desire to take over a conversation, to do most of talking, and to turn the focus of the exchange to yourself.

There are 2 responses in conversation:

  • Shift response, shifts attention back to yourself
  • Support response, supports the other person’s comment

Avoid shift response as long as you can

  • We can craftily disguise our attempts to shift focus - we might start a sentence with a supportive remark and then follow up with a comment about ourselves.

But beware if you shift focus to your self repeatedly the healthy balance will go.

  • The more comfortable you are the more difficult it is to empathize with suffering of another

Celeste: 10 ways to have a better conversation

  • Don’t multitask, Be present, be in that moment If you want to get out the conversation, get out, don’t be half in it.
  • If you’re mouth is open you’re not learning - Buddha
  • A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject. - Celeste Headlee’s Sister